Correction Is Also a Love Language

Whoever rebukes a person will in the end gain favor rather than one who has a flattering tongue.

—Proverbs 28:23

As I read this verse, I couldn’t help but think of the people God has placed around me. Only now do I realize how deeply blessed I am to be surrounded by those who love me enough not to tolerate me when I am wrong. At first, correction can feel uncomfortable—even painful—but looking back, I see how much I have learned, how much I have grown, and how much closer I’ve been drawn to God because of it.

I’ve also experienced the opposite—being surrounded by people who only flatter, who affirm everything without discernment, and who are unwilling to speak truth even when it’s needed. The difference is clear. Flattery may feel good in the moment, but it does not shape character. It does not lead to maturity. It does not deepen one’s spiritual life.

When we talk about love and friendship, we often picture presence, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation—all the well-known love languages. Correction is rarely included. Yet correction, when done in love and grounded in God’s Word, is one of the most powerful expressions of care. To correct someone is to risk misunderstanding, discomfort, and even distance. Still, people who truly love you are willing to take that risk—not to hurt you, but to help you grow.

True friendship is not just cheering on every desire or decision. It is also having the courage to say, “This isn’t right,” or “You can be better than this.” 

Love is not only about giving gifts; it is also about giving wisdom. It is not just about affirmation; it is also about alignment—with God’s truth and His plans.

God Himself disciplines those He loves. His correction is never meant to condemn but to refine. In the same way, when someone corrects us with humility and love, it is often God’s grace working through them. It means they care too much to let us stay where we are. They don’t want us drifting away from what God has prepared for us.

Loving is not merely butterflies in the stomach. Friendship is not always saying, “You look good,” when you don’t.

Real love helps us grow, stretch, and mature—even when it’s uncomfortable.

So let us be people who are willing to accept correction and people who lovingly give it. This, too, is a love language—one that leads to growth, wisdom, and a deeper walk with God. You will never truly grow if you surround yourself only with those who flatter and tolerate you. Growth comes through truth spoken in love.